The Root of Denial

I can’t tell you how many times I have read the story of Peter’s denial of Jesus and found myself in a place of utter disbelief and disappointment. How could Peter possibly deny that he knew the very same man that he followed around constantly for 3 years, bearing witness to miracles, countless spiritual teachings, and a multitude of selfless acts of kindness? Also, keep in mind that Peter wasn’t just “some guy” following Jesus, this was one of his BEST FRIENDS! What type of person could possibly do such a thing? Shame on you Peter.  

When we operate from a place of condemnation and judgement, we should recognize this as a spiritual signpost leading directly back to our own hearts. In the book of Romans Paul writes, “you may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things.” (Romans 2:1-2)  I believe this is Paul’s way of telling us that when we judge others, it is usually because we are guilty of the very same sin that we are passing judgment on. 

While we may judge, condemn, and fail to empathize with Peter, we must come to realize how often our behavior exemplifies the very same actions that he took when he denied Jesus. The definition of denial is, “the act of declaring something to be untrue.”  If we truly are to unpack the layers of denial, while we may not be declaring that we don’t know Jesus with our words, our hearts may be singing a different tune. If we look deeper, Peter displayed a multitude of behaviors that could predict that this denial was coming. Could it be that not reading my Bible consistently out of love, acting out in anger, slandering a co-worker, or monotonous, routine prayers are the beginning stages of denial? Haven’t we all been witness to Jesus’ miracle working power, grace, kindness, forgiveness, and love? Haven’t we heard His teachings, followed Him, and been His friend? How then, are we any different from Peter?

The word of God acts as a flashlight, searching the deepest recesses of our hearts. It will never fail to shine its light not just on our greatest areas of need but more importantly at the time we need it the most. “For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.” (Hebrews 4:12)  How might we be denying Jesus without even realizing it?

I believe that the root of denial is fear, and fear activates forgetfulness. When I’m afraid I forget that I’ve been set free from addiction, I forget that I have died on an operating table and been revived, I forget that I’m soon to be marrying the person that He handpicked for me, and I forget that I’ve been gifted to serve the children of our city as my career! Fear washes away TRUTH. If you are in fear at this moment, I would like you to do something for me.  Make a simple list of the blessings over your life since you have said yes to Jesus. If you haven’t yet said yes to making Jesus the Lord of your life, then I encourage you to make a list of the desires of your heart, accept Him, and watch your life transform! In doing so, we are tangibly taking action to fight fear, leaving us with the truth of who Jesus is and the touch of His hand over our lives. When (notice I said when) you find yourself enveloped in fear, I would like for you to refer to your list, thank God for His presence in your life, which will lead to a discontinuation of denial and a restoration of faith.
 
If you are like me and have found yourself in a place of denial, let me leave you with great hope. After his denial of Jesus the bible tells us that Peter wept bitterly. If we were in Jesus’ shoes in that moment, how would we have responded toward Peter in this time of betrayal?  At the very least, many of us would have written him off, but not Jesus! Jesus chose to forgive, to hear Peter’s cries of repentance, and use him to preach the sermon at Pentecost. This preaching led to 5,000 people getting saved and was a major movement in the early Church. Jesus didn’t allow Peter’s transgression to drive him away, it brought him closer. So if you have found yourself caught up in fear leading to denial I have great news for you. Just like with Peter, Jesus has great plans for you. Like Peter, He wants to use your imperfections for His glory. What great works does Jesus want YOU to shine on the world?   

Prayer:
Heavenly Father, we come before you with a heart of repentance. Father, we ask that you shine your loving light on any area where denial may subtly enter our hearts. We ask that you expose the fulness of our actions so that we may turn from them, and ultimately turn our hearts fully to you. Lord, we thank you for your forgiveness, for your grace, and for your mercy. Lord we ask that, like Peter, you transform our denial for your good and your glory. We declare that in this moment  you will unleash a great work in each and every one of us. That for whoever is reading this prayer will be gifted with identity and purpose in you Jesus, and will build Your Church using the exact gifts that you have blessed them with. Father, we love you, we thank you, and we praise Your mighty name.  Amen.