Get Over Your(SELF)

Did my title offend you? While I’m hopeful that it did not, my goal was to grab your attention. So if you are still reading…mission accomplished!

Here is the scene...you are walking alone through a crowded cafeteria to sit down and eat lunch. As you make your way to the only empty table amongst a sea of unfamiliar faces, you awkwardly take your seat. Just as you reach for your fork to begin eating, the table directly across from you breaks out in harmonious laughter. The humiliation is apparent and as your body temperature rises as a response to embarrassment,  you find your face turning a lovely shade of pink. If crawling under the table were socially acceptable, you would have done so a long time ago.  

If you are anything like me, and have had your own personal battle with debilitating insecurity then this fictitious story probably sounds quite familiar. Sure, the faces in the crowd or the setting may appear different but the storyline is very much the same. Why is it that we immediately look to ourselves in these moments?  Could it be possible that people laughing and sharing a meal together may in fact have absolutely NOTHING to do with me? Insert title here: Get Over Your(SELF).

As a person who has battled addiction, one of my greatest blessings was being introduced to the 12 Steps of Celebrate Recovery. I truly believe that one of my greatest personal spiritual victories came from completing the 4th Step, a process that I implore everyone to investigate. While many of us may not be ravaged by raging substance use disorder, we are all addicted to something, and for many of us it is ourSELF.  The 4th Step of the recovery process is “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” While this is an arduous task, the results can and will yield miraculous healing if you remain steadfast and trust in the process.

 If you struggle with the “victim” mindset  leaving you feeling beaten and broken, this is a proven remedy my friends. While insecurity is birthed from a variety of circumstances ranging from trauma to poor relationships, what if I told you that insecurity was also a byproduct of selfishness? It is only when I believe that I’m the center of the universe (whether consciously or subconsciously) that random laughter MUST have something to do with me. Self, is one of the most subtle yet debilitating addictions out there, and to break these chains, we must look to Paul’s letter to the church of Galatia.

In Galatians, Paul instructs the church to “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think that you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself.  You are not that important.” Galatians 6:3 NLT  Yes, Paul’s words have a “savage” undertone to them, but I believe that this was to draw our attention to a potentially toxic pitfall of falling victim to self. When questioned by the teachers of religious law what the most important commandment was, Jesus answered “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen O Israel!  The Lord our God is the one and only Lord.  And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and your mind, and all your strength.’  The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” Mark 12:29-31 NLT

Jesus wants to use the very thing that is keeping you stuck in bondage to bring healing to others through shared experience.  If you are anything like me, humility does not come easy and selfishness dies hard. Maybe, just maybe, that thing that you consider to be your greatest “curse” might be the exact vehicle that Jesus wants to use to love your neighbor and in loving your neighbor, you get over your(self). As upside down as this may seem, when we act in love toward our neighbors, the beautiful byproduct is continued growth and healing in us but now also through us.